Love will find a way if you let it..

This is the first time in a long time that i’ve felt this sad and completely hopeless. Its pretty ironic really but yeah thats how i feel. I feel like im reaching into a lucky dip full of bad toys, whatever i choose it isnt right, it is completely wrong and im wrong and i still pay for it. If i did something wrong i will pay for it, if you do something wrong i will pay for it, if my parents do something wrong i will pay for it, if my friends do something wrong i will pay for it, if john smith down the road does something wrong i will pay for it.

I feel like everybody is depending on me for something and that im not good enough in anybody’s eyes. Any time i try to do anything good or even if i’ve done nothing wrong, i’m never allowed be hurt or complain because the bad things i’ve done in the past dont give me the right to complain.

I guess i just need to…. chill the fuck out. Yeah thats what i really need to do. I dont know what im gonna do but in the mean time i’ll just try to keep myself calm and in order. I feel like im going crazy to be honest, but isnt everybody these days?